By HRC President Cheryl Jacques
Since I started at the Human Rights Campaign, I have had the opportunity
to talk with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people nationwide
about the path to equality. Foremost in the minds of many I have been
honored to meet is this question: why is marriage so important?
If you're wondering this, you're not alone. According to a Harris
Interactive poll we recently commissioned, half of all GLBT adults think
civil unions are the same as marriage. Unfortunately, that's just not
true.
Simply put, civil unions do not provide any of the more than 1,000
protections or securities afforded under federal law through a marriage
license. They are recognized today in only one state – Vermont – and
provide only the state benefits of marriage. If two men in a civil union
travel across state lines, they carry with them none of the rights or
protections that they have in Vermont.
These critical distinctions boil down to unfairness. With every
paycheck, GLBT employees pay into the Social Security system – allowing
spouses and children to access Social Security survivor benefits when a
loved one passes away. These benefits can easily total more than $1,800
a month. (See www.hrc.org/familynet for examples.) But couples in a
civil union have no access to these benefits. Even if you have no desire
to marry, you're still paying into a system that discriminates against
same-sex couples.
Couples in a civil union have no access to the federal laws like Family
and Medical Leave Act, to equal immigration rights, to continued health
care coverage. Under federal law, same-sex couples are strangers.
Some also feel that civil unions are a necessary compromise, given the
public's struggle with marriage. But civil unions are not the solution.
Even if civil unions provided all the same legal protections of marriage
– which they don't – they would still be a separate and unequal system.
Ten years ago, many said that domestic partnerships were unrealistic.
Five years ago, civil unions were cutting-edge. We are at a moment in
history where marriage is a reality. We must not cede that right just
because people are uncomfortable.
Sure, there are many of us who may not be ready to settle down now.
However, our poll reflects that 78 percent of our community wants to be
able to marry. For the 22 percent who don't, this should still be their
personal choice to make, not the government's.
Speaking of the government, President Bush is prepared to enshrine this
unequal treatment in our nation's Constitution. And the press is
reporting that he will endorse the Musgrave anti-family amendment to our
Constitution. This would not only forever ban any state from allowing
same-sex couples to marry but could strike at the heart of a state's
ability to provide even limited legal protections or civil unions to
same-sex couples.
Officials said Bush was planning to announce this as a way to "to start
the general election campaign on a fresh issue." Make no mistake,
President Bush is trying to win this election on our backs. He is
playing politics with our lives and our families. It's intolerable, it's
shameful and it's an ugly way to run a campaign.
It's time for us to speak up. That same Harris poll showed that the
majority of us don't talk to family, friends and colleagues about the
impact of discrimination on our lives. We are depriving the people who
love us most of the opportunity to fight for us, to vote for us and to
end the discrimination against us.
This silence is a barrier to our equality. I personally know the
difficulties of coming out. But being out and being able to discuss
these issues with your friends and family is so important.
Generally, our friends, families and colleagues don't know that we can't
get married. They don't think we can be fired in 36 states for being gay
or in 46 states for being transgender. They don't know that we could be
blocked at the hospital room door. Or that we can't get Social Security
benefits. We need to tell them.
Poll after poll shows that people who know openly GLBT people are far
more likely to support our equal rights – in the workplace, in marriage
rights and in all the areas we lack critical protection.
Some may say that our greatest enemies are extremist groups like Focus
on the Family – who are dangerous, loud and well-funded. But at this
moment, our greatest challenges are silence, ignorance and apathy.
The majority of Americans care about equality. Most just don't know we
lack it. It's time for us to do some talking.
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